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Hermeneutics Gone Horribly Awry

humor, culture, the world 3 Comments »

THE DAY GOD CRIED, a STORY of NOAH

(And the Lord regretted that He had made man on Earth and His heart was saddened.)

What happens sometimes when we feel this sad? Does God cry? Perhaps he tried to contain his great sadness but, as person after person refused to listen, the tears kept building up inside more and more. But even though we had hurt Him so much, He wanted to save us and God just kept trying and trying until finally someone listened, Noah.

And what a thing God told Noah to do. Build a boat, the biggest boat in the world. In the middle of the desert build a huge boat.

No matter what he thought of the idea, Noah obeyed God. All his neighbors laughed at him and all that gopher wood and pitch sure cost a lot of money but Noah obeyed. We can picture him building the ark step by patient step as perhaps God even put pictures in his head to show him how do things just right. You see, God will tell us how do things right, if we listen to His Word.

(…Noah found favor with the Lord.)

Finally, Noah finished building; then he had an even harder job. You see, God loved the animals, too. He made them just before he made man. The animals had done nothing wrong because God hadn’t given them a sense of right and wrong. So Noah listened again and gathered up the animals in pairs, seven pairs of each clean kind and one pair of each unclean kind. And he had to hurry. G-d’s sadness was building and he could only give Noah a week for all that work. But Noah did as God asked and He promised Noah his whole family: himself, his wife, his three sons and their wives would all be safe in the ark with the animals.

And then God cried. His sorrow was so strong that He cried for forty days and forty nights. His sorrow was so deep that His tears covered the whole Earth, even the highest mountains.

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The Global Crash of the Internet

humor No Comments »

The Onion presents up-to-date coverage of the great internet crash of ‘07. Great stuff.

HT( Lifehacker)

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